Everyone's Drunk
by raisenbread
Summary: In which everyone comes over for Sasha's birthday party and she gets them all drunk. Well, most of them anyway. Be warned and be cautious, Sasha is dangerous when given alcoholic beverages.


Eren was invited to Sasha's birthday party that night, everyone was going to be there, everyone being all the friends Sasha had. She was turning 16 that night and decided to have alcoholic beverages in tow. Why not right? No one was planning on actually getting _wasted_. Well, that's what Eren thought until he got there.

Connie had already been there a couple hours beforehand to help with the set up of the party, he had also been given wine cups full of vodka hours beforehand and was expected to drink more when the party began, which was in about ten minutes.

As soon as Eren had walked in the door he was greeted by Sasha, who had also been drinking.

"Hey! Sasha! Happy Birthday!"

"Haha, thanks Eren, feel free to make yourself at home! One sec." And she disappeared down the steps leading to the basement. She came back up dragging a half-drunk Connie with her, who for some unknowable reason kept on trying to take his clothes off.

"Connie, get a hold of yourself, you're not even that drunk yet!"

"Are.. you craazy.?" He slurred. "Y-you gave meh..rike haha, twee cups of wodka.."

"Is he drunk? How much did he drink? The party hasn't even started yet Sasha." Eren stared at the boy on the ground who was trying to undress himself, not knowing if he himself should be amused or..well, scared.

"Oh, yeah I think he's pretty drunk. Woops, oh that reminds me." She turned to Eren, a wicked smile decorating her face. "It's your turn! Come." She pulled Eren by his arm down the stairs into the basement and plopped him on the couch. She pulled out a beautiful wine glass and filled it to the brim with vodka. "Drink this." She handed him the cup a huge smile covering her face. Eren took it, sniffed it, and decided that he would not be able to get this down even if his life depended on it. "You're not my friend unless you drink all of it!" Sasha had her arms crossed, looking at Eren seated on the couch in front of her.

"Pfft, I can finish this no problem."

"Yes! Thanks Eren! But you have to finish it all. I'll be back down in a couple of seconds, be sure it's gone by then!" With that she ran up the stairs to tend to a yelling Connie.

Eren looked helplessly at the cup in front of him. _"I can't finish this. It tastes disgusting.." _It wasn't like he had never drank vodka before, he was pretty sure everybody had, but he just hadn't drank _this much _in one go before. And he wasn't sure if he could do it or not. He was debating on whether or not to pour it back into the bottle when Sasha came running down the stairs.

"Awww, Eren you haven't finished it yet!"

"Yeah.. Haha sorry Sasha but I don't think I can finish all this."

"No, you probably can, just plug your nose and drink it really, really fast. It's easier that way I promise!"

"Sasha..."

"Please Eren? It _is _my birthday after all!" She looked at him, her eyes big, lips pouting.

"Fine, fine I'll do it." With that Eren held his nose with one hand and brought the cup to his lips with the other. And down it went. _"That wasn't so bad." _

"There, done." He was given a large piece of chocolate for the after taste. He took it gratefully. "Thanks." He was chewing the piece of chocolate when he and Sasha heard Connie yelling from upstairs.

"It's hooooooot, it's soo hoottt! Sashaa! Sasha! Where are you? I thought, I thought that you thought I thought...Pikachu..!"

"Sorry, Eren, I think I'll need to check on Connie again, I'll be right back."

"Wait, wait, I'll come with you, in case he decides to throw up or something." Eren laughed at the thought.

"Can you make it up the stairs?"

"Of course! I told you, I can handle that much vodka no problem."

When they got upstairs they saw Connie spread eagle on the kitchen counter with no shirt and no pants, singing about the way his hand seemed to reach into the heavens.

"Connie! Where is your shirt!" Sasha laughed. "How the hell did you get up there? I thought you couldn't move!"

Connie twisted his head towards Sasha, a serious expression coming over his features, very unlike Connie.

"I fucking flew."

"He...He _flew._" Sasha burst out laughing. "Eren, Eren! Did you hear that? He flew, oh my god. Hahaha. He flew!" She fell to the ground laughing, Eren joined the both of them in hysterical laughter after a few minutes, when he had processed enough of the situation to understand why the both of them were laughing so hard. Then Eren's phone started quacking, alerting him of an incoming phone call. He looked at the caller ID. It said Jean Kirschtein. It was a picture of a horse. He pressed the button and put it to his ear.

"Helloo..?"

"Eren, dammit, why is it so hard to find this kid's house?"

"Haha, where are you? I'll try to help you out."

"I'm by this convenience store, has a picture of a husky on it."

"Do you see like..uh...workout place anywhere near you?"

"Yeah...the blue building?"

"Yeah that one...uhh... Just go there and, and...do you have her address?"

'"No, just some crap map she drew for me."

"Oh, I'll give you the address then. It's 134 Limeuex Street SW."

"Alright."

"Call me when you get here! Bye, Jean."

"Uh, bye."

Eren hung up and sat by the door, waiting for Jean to come knocking.

"Eren, who was that?"

"Hmm? Oh, it was Jean, he couldn't find your house cause the map you drew him was crap."

"Horse."

"Horse." Eren agreed, both boys started to laugh for no particular reason.

"Where'd Sasha go? I swear she was here a couple minutes ago. Also, Eren. This is Sasha's house."

Eren's eyes widened. "Oh man, woops. Did I just steal her house for you? No, Sasha! _Sasha! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to!_" Eren's cries were cut short when a knock came at the door.

"I'll get that!" Eren jumped to his feet and ran towards the door, trying to turn the knob. He didn't get it the first try but he got it on the second. He grinned. _"Damn door, trying to get in my way. I win though." _When he opened the door, he was greeted by Jean.

"Hello, Jean, thanks for inviting me to your house today."

"Jaeger, this is Sasha's house."

When all Jean got from Eren was a very confused look he asked, "Are you drunk? Seriously? It just started."

"I swear I didn't break in Jean, so please don't call the cops."

Jean sighed, not wanting to deal with Eren at the moment. He walked in to Sasha dragging Connie up the stairs.

"Oh, hey Jean! I see you've made it!"

"Hi.. What happened to him?" Jean jerked his thumb towards the boy who stared straight back at him.

"A little too much to drink but he'll be fine, don't worry." She laughed, continuing to pull him up the stairs.

"Want some help?"

"Sure! Can you just take him upstairs and put him in my bed? I don't want him to catch a cold."

"Yeah sure, who's all coming?"

"Hmm, I think you're the first person who's asked me that. Well, let's see.." She stared into space ticking off people one by one. "You, Eren, Connie, Me, Marco, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, Bertolt, Armin, and Mikasa. I think that's all."

"That's a lot of people. You're gonna get them all drunk?"

"No, of course not, just a select few." She grinned. "Because most of them refuse to even drink a little so I'll let the others drink a lot."

Jean gave a small noise of agreement as he dragged his drunken friend the rest of the way upstairs.

One by one, the others started coming. First Armin and Mikasa, who walked in to a half naked Eren. Then Marco, Krista, and Ymir, who walked into find Connie, Eren, Armin - who had been forced- , Jean, and Sasha playing spin the bottle, with Mikasa sitting on the side. The rules were: instead of kissing the person, they had to have a shot of vodka or a glass of wine. Last walked in Bertolt and Reiner, who entered into a room full of drunks.

"So much for them not drinking." Bertolt said.

"I'm not drunk!" Sasha raised her hand, running over to the two of them. "Want a drink? We have red wine and vodka. Pick your poison!"

Bertolt kindly declined, Reiner, who had a more...adventurous personality accepted and was given two glasses of vodka and half a glass of wine.

Half way through the night, Eren decided to call his superior Levi, who had not been able to come that night because of reasons unforetold. Eren, drunk down to his very core thought it would be a splendid idea to call. So he rang him up. When Levi answered Eren happily told him everything he would never say, were he completely sober.

"Levi, I loove you!" He laughed. Everybody laughed. "I like you a lot actually! Haha, I've always loved you Levi senpaii!" Eren cooed, getting more confident with the yells of approval from the others. He was going to say more when the line went dead. Eren went quiet, the other's noticing that Eren had stopped confessing, started to wonder what went wrong. Eren slowly turned his head to face the rest of his friends, eyes tearing up.

"You guys, the phone killed Levi!" The house erupted as everyone panicked, Connie was crying on the floor, saying he was sorry for all the times he had said Levi was scary. Armin - who had decided a shot was okay, but had had more after - stuck himself into a corner, tears streaking down his face. Mikasa, who never really liked the bastard in the first place paraded around the house, an award winning smile plastered to her face. It should be mentioned that she did not drink. Reiner, who thought someone had _murdered _Levi ran downstairs and hid himself away so no one could ever find him. Well, so no one drunk could ever fine him. Marco was holding Jean, whispering sweet nothings into his ear about how everything was going to be okay, while Jean was crying into Marco's shirt about how horrible he'd been to the Corporal behind his back. Bertolt, poor, sober Bertolt went looking for poor, drunk Reiner to find him trying to hide in the washer. As for Ymir and Krista, they were upstairs doing who knows what. They didn't have time for this kind of idiocy. Last but not least, the birthday girl Sasha, was enjoying the drunk mess of her closest friends. She was curious how Eren would take responsibility tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N - I hope Eren can talk to Levi tomorrow without throwing up on him. Based on a true story. Listen kids, if you're going to get drunk, delete your crushes number. I tried to make it funny.  
**


End file.
